The beginning of the end

I went from writing between 1 - 3 posts a week to falling off of the face of the Blogosphere entirely. The truth is, I met someone about four months ago. I avoided divulging details because typically I'm somewhat cynical in that area, but now the curtains are open. Essentially, things intensified gradually to the point where I completely lost interest in writing. They also intensified to the point where I'm moving to live with this person back in Minnesota.

When I really stop the world from spinning for a moment and think about it, I have no clue how I ended up here. I don't mean here as in Mexico, I mean here as in my situation. Call me sappy, but failure upon failure in the factory of love had eventually convinced me that it was a glorified concept designed for the silver screen. That relationships and marriage were nothing more than an escape from solitude into comforting companionship. Then I met them. And they fell in love with me. And I swear I avoided it for as long as possible before I accepted it.

Sometimes I find it tough to identify positive qualities in myself ( and I say that in the least emo manner possible ), but suddenly, out of nowhere and in the most unlikely of ways, someone came along who loves me so strongly that I find it impossible to believe that I'm not worth it. And there aren't words in any language I know that could adequately describe how much that means to me. I feel like I owe them so much, and I know I can provide a life for them in the U.S. that would be out of my reach here in Mexico. Really, giving up the life I'm living in this beautiful country is the absolute smallest sacrifice I could make, and it will bring me nowhere near compensation for what I've been given.

There's a feeling, close to euphoria but closer to contentedness, sitting deep in my stomach that makes it easy to brush off the small stuff. This person can touch my arm for just a moment and I swear that if I were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't regret a thing because I know that this is happiness in its most illustrious form and I've been gifted enough to experience it.

The truth is that my gut twists just a little when I think about leaving Mexico. I love it here for about a million different reasons. I spent the afternoon with my best friend here in Mexico running errands with him, just to spend time around the city. There were moments when I thought my heart would break as slivers of realization set in, ones that told me that this is it. Five months isn't very long, but just the air alone, or the mountain-lined horizon, was enough to steal my heart. I'm confident that I'm doing the right thing, making another change in my life for someone I love, but saying goodbye to this other world is going to be difficult.